Today I am reminded of the story of Lazarus. I put myself in the position of Mary and Martha and think “Lord, why did you not come sooner?” I know God is all powerful, so why doesn’t he do something? Why does he not step in and save the day?

                Now usually when I read this story I think to myself how silly these sisters are for thinking that Jesus didn’t know what he was doing. Of course he stayed behind for extra time. He had different plans in mind. His timing was not what expected. Yet what he had in mind was so much bigger and beautiful. He didn’t just come to make one man well, but to raise a dead man to life. The resolution is one they couldn’t have seen coming, focused on their grief and loss, concerned most about the problem at hand, but Jesus’ plan surpassed all those agonies and worries.

                Just as Mary and Martha didn’t realize that Jesus was coming to do more than heal a sick man, how easy it is to lose sight of the fact that he didn’t just come to bring one man to life. He came to redeem the world. My finite mind can’t comprehend how that is done. Even when God has plans that aren’t what I would have chosen, they are always better in the end.

                God is faithful and just. His heart is always set on love. He longs for the redemption of His people. He works good out of even the abysmal tragedies. So I will trust in God. His plans are bigger than mine, they are better than mine. He wants to, and is capable to, redeem more than I could imagine. God is good.

(via hisgracesustains)

Anonymous asked: I really enjoy reading your thoughts on our relationship with Christ, you are in fact very wise and that is awesome!

Thank you.

Have you ever seen a movie multiple times within a short time span? Common occurrences remind you of the film, or perhaps you automatically think of movie lines to quote in response to conversation? The same can be true of real life experiences. After I’d get back from camp as a kid, or Nicaragua, or most recently, coming back home from school, I’m constantly reminded of a memory or story of some sort.

Unfortunately, this is true about pain and conflict, not just celebratory or happy recollections. In a society where relationships, and even the ideals of them, are becoming increasingly warped, I’m becoming more conscious of what God intended for marriage to be in stark contrast to what our world defines it as.

In a Salvo article, “Love Actualized,” by Terrell Clemmons quoting The Meaning of Marriage, by Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller, he writes, “Marriage was established by God to reflect his nature in the world. The essence of God’s nature is his agape love, which means a sacrificial commitment to live for the good of another. ‘Wedding vows are not a declaration of present love but a mutually binding promise of future love,’ writes Timothy. In a wedding, ‘you stand up before God, your family, and all the main institutions of society, and you promise to be loving, faithful, and true to the other person in the future, regardless of undulating internal feelings or external circumstance.” Clemmons goes on to express the purpose of marriage. “Marriage is one of God’s primary means of making us better people-people who increasingly manifest the self-giving nature of God. Nothing has the power to reveal unflattering character traits like marriage.”

Although not pertaining to marriage exclusively, Carlo Carretto writes in In Search of the Beyond, “We are not happy because we are unforgiving, and we are unforgiving because we feel superior to others. Mercy is the fruit of the highest degree of love, because love creates equals, and a greater love makes us inferior. First let us establish three premises: Those who do not love feel superior to everyone else. Those who love feel equal to everyone else. Those who love much gladly take the lower place.”

Just tonight at a Q&A panel one of the guests said the most desirable trait women should look for in a man is the concept of lordship; he must be willing to humble himself and submit to others who are older and wiser than he is, including Jesus Christ. I think it works reversely too.

All to say, the common thread I see here is dying to oneself. I’m getting a much better picture of the meaning behind that common phrase.

What is the point in my praying for something my actions are opposing? I don’t think it’s reasonable to ask God to make me healthy and fit if I overeat and have a sedentary lifestyle; the same is true with other supplications. Knowing that God wants to move in my heart and transform me, I believe He’s willing to change the desires of my heart. Our free will being maintained, He will only do this as I am willing, and in turn as I am willing, there is action on my part. This action requires effort. God’s goal isn’t to mind control me, but to help train me in discipline and shape my desires, and through that to allow me to love the people around me better. All sin hurts others and is detrimental to ourselves, but as we are freed from slavery to sin, we are then free to live a life of loving and willing service and submission. Now isn’t that the heart of God?

My friend Ally Garvin said the other day, “We often mistake being noticed as love.” I was thinking of how often I try to fascinate, attract, captivate, or persuade people. As a woman, a thought occurred to me that perhaps wouldn’t to most males; in the pursuit of modesty, should I abandon the pursuit of beauty?  The conversation we were having at the time centered on dying to self, what that means and how it can be misinterpreted. One of the quotes we had looked at addressed humility like this, “When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation or to record your own good works, or to itch after commendation, when you can truly love to be unknown- THAT IS DYING TO SELF.”

 I had a light bulb memory of a conversation I had with my friend Erin years ago. She was relating some dialogue she had with her brother in regards to modesty. He stated that modesty is not just not being sleazy; modesty is also not trying to draw attention to yourself by means of flashy clothing, etc. Now it’s important to distinguish the difference between not trying to draw attention and trying not to draw attention, but I think what he was after was a heart that isn’t dependent on self-recognition.

So here I was, the day after discussing this very topic, and finding myself falling short already. The immediate resolve that came to mind was to disavow any attempt to attract attention to myself by means of physical appearance. While this is both impractical and I lack the desire to follow through with this action, I realized it fell short for a much bigger reason. That inaction would not cause the desire in my heart to disappear. I will still feel the aching gaping hole of attention if I keep up my attempts to fill it with the wrong attention. The attention I crave currently is from people but it will never satisfy completely like the sweet love of a Savior.

The theme in “The Princess Diaries,” of true love recognizing someone for who they are without grandeur appearances, the perfect love of Jesus is without match. He sees me and loves me on my bad hair days, on my bad attitude days, when I act like I don’t know Him, even when I willfully do what I know he hates. He sees me when I’m “invisible.”

Even if I miraculously master the desire for attention from man, should I abandon the search for beauty? I don’t think so for three reasons. First of all, God created both male and female. (And when He did so he wired the brains of men to be very visually perceptive.) He also gave women a desire to “unveil beauty,” in the words of Staci Eldredge in Captivating. Secondly, God obviously cares about beauty if He put so much time and attention into the ascetics of creation. We learn from 2 Chronicles 2 that God gave specific instructions for the chief craftsman to construct His Temple with precious metals and fine cloth. As God’s creation, we bear His image and one part of that is creative ability. In the endeavor to create beauty we can glorify our Creator who is the Master Artist.  Thirdly, in Esther we see how God used one woman’s beauty to not only gain favor with the King but to save an entire nation. Apparently, God can use beauty for His purposes.